October 2, 2014 - Thursday

It is good sense to be slow to anger,
and an honor to overlook an offense. (Proverbs 19:11 NABRE)


Controlling anger. Now that can be a real challenge for me! My experience of anger is most often like a high-speed train that I don't see coming until it's already upon me. Placing a cognitive choice, an intellectual decision, in front of that train to make it stop seems nearly impossible.  So what does today's proverb encourage me to do here?  I have five thoughts.

First. Perhaps when I understand the cause of my anger, I can begin to create a plan for successfully expressing it. Here are some questions I might ask: Am I honest about my anger or do I disguise it as sarcasm or sadness? Do I become angry often or infrequently?  What circumstances are going on in my life when I become angry that might be influencing me? How is my health? Am I overtired? Do my motivations for being angry stem from bad experiences I've had or beliefs (valid or faulty) I hold--what are they? And at the heart of it, am I angry for a good reason?

Second. After that intellectual exercise, I can take the next step and decide in advance, while I'm not angry, that I will pause for even just a few seconds before reacting to the train of anger the next time it hits me.  Just the length of a breath, I can pause and consider how I will express the overwhelming rush of emotion I feel.  I know that the feeling I call anger has environmental, physical and emotional causes which are often out of my direct control, but expressing my anger is something I can influence, at least a little.

Third. I need to use the guilt that follows an angry outburst to reminds myself I have more to work on and apologies to offer.  I need to use the guilt as a reminder and motivator, and not as a deterrent or limiting force.

Fourth. If I can, I may need to change or adjust the surroundings and circumstances of my life that provoke my anger.

Fifth. I pray, as with all other things, for God's hand of peace to rest on me, even if it's just for those few seconds; for wisdom and guidance when I find the need to make life changes; and for God, in his endless mercy, to support me with his Spirit and the holy angels.

Jesus gives us a wonderful and encouraging example of his righteous anger when he overturns the tables of the money changers in the Temple (Matthew 21:12). When he does express his anger, it is for a good reason, not a personal agenda or a rationalization.


Today, I will pause should anger strike me; and during quiet reflection I will consider one angry outburst I've had to determine if it had a righteous cause or a selfish one.


My guardian angel, on this Feast of the Guardian Angel, represent me before God, watch over me, aid my prayer and present my soul to God at the time of my death.